Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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