I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just blew my weed a kiss
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
