ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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