HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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