U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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