my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
