it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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