If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
