Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
