So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
