I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
