I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Why is there bacon in the couch?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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