like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
