She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
