Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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