I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm bleeding and have questions
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
