Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
