why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
