If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
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