I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Randomize
