There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize