So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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