Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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