don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
