we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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