I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I am naked and annoyed.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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