My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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