thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
