my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
operation have a gay friend backfired
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
