I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You may now shotgun with the bride
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
