I'm so fucking centered right now
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I use my feet as sexual weapons
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
