the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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