True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
