Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
