just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
