If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
