Kiss
Puke
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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