Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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