If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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