i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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