What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
