So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
