Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
