handjob tips. give me some.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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