i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
