you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
