my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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