omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
