Kareoke will never be a sober sport
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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