dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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