This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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